Exactly How Strong Is That White House Fence?

Ed Henry for CNN reported that a man carrying a suspicious package tried to jump the White House fence. A response team put on their funny hazmat suits to gather up the package.

The package is being investigated. It probably holds the guys lunch, maybe more. Read about it at http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/06/04/white.house.jumper/index.html

The Secret Service arrested 44-year-old Roger Witmer for trying to jump the fence. Tom Mazur of the Secret Service said Roger didnt make it. Evidently he needed more training along the Mexican border. Roger lives in Washington, D.C. so his relatives will not have a difficult time visiting him in jail.

According to CNN, Mazur said Witmer will be charged with unlawful entry, disorderly conduct and destruction of government property. He had no previous record with the Secret Service. Evidently he was just getting started.

The package was in a plastic bag. I guess Witmer dropped the bag onto the White House lawn as he was trying to scale the fence.

The Chicago Sun-Times said there were bags, not bag. They also said that no explosives were found in the bags. See http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-white05.html

According to CNNs story, Mazur said the incident happened shortly before noon on Sunday. President Bush, who had just wrapped up a late morning bike ride off-site, was on his way to the White House complex at the time.

The President probably hardly noticed the commotion.

Witmer, according to CNN, will be charged with:

Unlawful Entry: Even though he never entered.

Disorderly Conduct: He should have checked in at the gate.

Destruction of Government Property: He must have scratched the paint.

Now if the fence is so flimsy that it can be damaged by a person climbing over it, what the heck is the purpose of the fence? The White House fence encloses 18 acres of land. I read that at http://www.whitehousehistory.org/06/subs/06_b.html

The last time I saw the fence it looked pretty sturdy and difficult to climb. How could a plastic-bag-carrying climber damage it?

I just think that the President did show up. I think he said, Looks like someone knocked a paint chip off the White House fence. How did that happen?

Thats probably how not-so-swift Witmer got charged with Destruction of Government Property.

Well, they are going to have his brain examined arent they?

So, what was in the bag or bags?

Oh, I know.

Witmer is a homeless one.

The bags contained his extra pairs of socks and underwear, an old clock he found in a garbage can, his toothbrush, a comb, a 1974 calendarthe year his wife left him for the postman, a picture of his Vietnam war buddies, a can of CheezeWhiz, a half-eaten can of tuna, a short but extendable fishing pole, a picture of his sister, Mary, a deck of warn playing cards, a May, 1997 copy of Play Boy Magazine featuring the conclusion of Zero Minus Ten by Raymond Benson, twelve letters from the IRS saying that he never filed his tax return for 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002, 2001, 2000, 1999, 1998, 1997, 1996, 1995 and 1994, a picture of a 1984 Jaguar, his Combat Infantryman badge, his Bronze Star, his Purple Heart, his First Calvary Division patch, a broken pair of eye glazes, a dental bridge, a copy of War and Peace, ticket stubs from a Washington Senators game, a picture of Abraham Lincoln, a piece of copper wire, one shoe lace, a dull razor, 39 centstwo dimes, three nickels, and four pennies, a dirty handkerchief, an empty Muscatel wine bottle, and a Partridge in a Pear Tree.

copyright2006 John T. Jones, Ph.D.

John T. Jones, Ph.D. (tjbooks@hotmail.com, a retired VP of R&D for Lenox China, is author of detective & western novels, nonfiction (business, scientific, engineering, humor), poetry, etc. Former editor of Ceramic Industry Magazine. He is Executive Representative of IWS sellers of Tyler Hicks wealth-success books and kits. He also sells TopFlight flagpoles. He calls himself "Taylor Jones, the hack writer."

More info: http://www.tjbooks.com

Business web site: http://www.aaaflagpoles.com

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